We have changed our minds.
DO NOT UNICYCLE! No! Stop that right now.
Listen to what gravity is telling you. It’s saying, “just lie down”..
Obey the law of gravity. Don’t fight it. Never stand up again. Be like Grandpa Joe in that Willy Wonka movie. Stay in bed for 20 years for unknown reasons. Only get up to dance for chocolate, that’s it.
And certainly, don’t think about riding the unicycle! Don’t even think it. Those are unnatural thoughts. Think only of the boring, or else you’ll expect greatness in everything. Don’t risk such an occurrence! Do you think Grandpa Joe could go back to slothing around uselessly after flying on bubbles and seeing the chocolate land etc? Of course not.
Unicycle Hockey? In ya dreams!
Unicycle progress book? Burn it!
Unicycle progress stickers? Stick them in the bin!
Unicycling is simply too exhilarating.
Who needs such a fuss?
Yes it is true, we have changed our minds. We don’t like adventure anymore, because it only makes the other things mundane. So now, we are working hard on making sure people know NOT to unicycle. It’s too good, you see? We’re soon going to ride around the streets with sad faces on, to deter people, holding up big signs that say “NO”.
See you there! (no don’t do it)
definitely not Sunday 8:00pm (no)
definitely not til 9:30,
absolutely not at the Roller Rink (you have been warned).
OK? If you want discovery and adventure… Make a cup of tea instead. Or, even better, don’t even do that. Life is not meant to be good. Just go to sleep and stay there, and be happy with cabbage soup.